The Loneliness of a Debater

to debate is to be lonely.

for the longest time, i have once again found myself struggling with scarcity in how to express my thoughts. scurrying through my newsfeed revealed a skeleton in my closet. it is lonely to be a debater.

of course and as expected, many a debater might find themselves arguing with my point but that is normal. id like to share how things have been for me as a debater.

when you are someone who knows how to debate, you often find yourself in the middle of an argument or conversation. it may just be a simple presentation of thoughts, a discourse or whatever event may have triggered the exchange, i dare say that debaters may find themselves lonely.

i say this because of the value of relationship. your relationship with other people is far more valuable than winning an argument. and when you are aware of this, it is hard to argue with people who dont know how to argue.

for so many times i have decided to just keep to myself just because i value these relationships. in a playful banter during a drinking session, a friends of mine were discussing their thoughts on politics. in a few seconds, there was a rich source of fallacies which would simply not stand in a proper debate.

argumentum ad hominem. argumentum ad passiones. argumentum ad populum. and so on.

people should be taught how to structure arguments with proper analysis in order to address issues and not the people saying them. this training should be initiated in childhood and carried out throughout the lifespan.

this is not one of my best entries.

The Caring and The Dying

i'm inspired to write this because of what has been happening to me the past few days. i'm quite alarmed with the fact that this week alone, two of my friends have passed away and i also found out that we already lost a few patients since coming into the rotation this month.

so i'd like to take time to share so you might consider how to treat someone who's already on the verge of death or in the process of dying.

give time. the dying person is someone who is doesn't want to be alone. yes, he might want some privacy every now and then but one of the worst things you can do to that person is make him feel lonely. no, it doesn't mean that we're required to never be any more than 12 inches away from him. rather, what this means is that the person must know that he is cared for, loved and supported. the challenge is to make him feel this way without suffocating him.

give consideration. we've all seen it before and it's not necessarily a bad thing. let me ask you; how does the average Filipino family express their love and concern for their patient? chances are you thought about feeding him. for the most part, this is true. nutrition is very important in the health care setting. but have we ever considered if the person really still wants to eat? it's been documented that among the dying, some have complained of being overfed. one patient even said that he wished his wife would stop stuffing the apple pie down his throat every chance she got. of course, the intentions are good. but it's better to ask the patient how he was instead. or more specifically, if he wanted to it. imagine, it would be hard to think of eating if you're in pain and finding it difficult to swallow, yes? we have tubes for that, too.

forever on replay.

give control. in most cases, a person who is dying has lost control of everything that is happening in his life. he is often left feeling bound to and responsible for everything -- especially the financial and emotional burden of his care. though there is little we can do about it, it's also good to know that it's still possible to give that person control. consider the little things. does the person want the light on or off? is he okay with the temperature of the room or does he want it warmer/cooler? would he prefer his own clothes instead of the hospital gown when he's not undergoing procedures? does he actually like to watch those pinoy movies on replay or nora aunor and her himala? on a more serious note, is there any legality or paperwork he would like done without being manipulated (provide privacy for that)? are there any things he would like taken care of when he moves on? what are his advanced directives? is there a time limit he wants before pulling the plug? these things matter to the dying. let them have this control. remember, little as they are, a little is always more than nothing.

give recognition. nobody wants to be stereotyped. a person would do almost anything just to avoid labels, would he? the same goes for the dying. how would you feel if we get remembered as 'bacterial pneumonia'? how about 'urinary tract infection'? or even worst, the 'immunocompromised'? as medical professionals, we are often guilty of remembering patients by their diseases or conditions. this is not exactly wrong but wouldn't it be better to remember our patients as real persons, too? i actually tried this today and invested more time with my patient. i discovered new things and i felt my personal growth happen. this really had a positive effect on my outlook and life. not to mention, his blood pressure also went down significantly to almost normal after our talk. yes, according to family medicine, healing happens when there is communication.

with all these things shared, i am well-aware that i'm just a newbie doctor. i'm not even done with internship, and let alone licensed! but still, i hope you take it in good consideration that aside from medicines, most of the healing takes place in a familiar environment and every person we come in contact with will always come off better or worse because of us. let's all choose to make everyone, and especially the dying, better about themselves.

the message here is to give. let us be the giving kind of people. and leave it up to God Almight to give back according to His sovereign will. 

Of Netizens, Keyboard Warriors and Armchair Generals

call them "netizens" if you find them agreeable. call them "keyboard warriors" if you don't.

it is hard to disprove that sans legal processes like a census or an election, these same opinions can and should always matter. the method or means of communicating a certain position on certain matters does not devalue someone's position.

let's consider the term "armchair generals". this is one of the more popular ways for someone to call another person out when there is a disagreement online. the accuser (or one who uses the term to describe the other) usually does so, in an effort to taunt the other. it's like saying the other person's only way of contributing to society as a whole is his words and can never back it up with action. 

personally, i find this approach sleazy, unfair and a symptom of someone who's basically given up winning an argument or discussion. in parallel, it's challenging a fistfight knowing you could not outargue a person.

definitely, not the smartest thing to type, no matter how your fists (or fingers for that matter) might say otherwise.

keyboard warriors accusing others of being keyboard warriors as well.

but again, "armchair generals". is there anything wrong with playing one's opinion up online? again, on the flipside, is there anything wrong with putting your opinion out offline, like a magazine or newspaper?

and dare i ask, "is there anything wrong, then, with the whole democratic election process since we decide and do vote upon an armchair?"

simply said, calling someone a keyboard warrior doesn't make you any less of one. so, get off your self-imposed pedestal.

my say is this; stop taking the weaker position of labeling people and start addressing their opinions head-on. though i cannot say for certain, if jose rizal were alive today, i'd consider him to be one of the greatest armchair generals. he would've undoubtedly taken advantage of the reach of social media in order to express his opinions.